1/20/19 - Family Letter to Emma

hi Emma love

thank you for  serving a mission. i have been feeling the blessings!!!!!!!!!

COLDS ARE THE WORST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i have a small cold but its been bugging me like a BIG FAT BEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I MISS YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 how is it going there?

 LOVE and MISS Mari

Sweet Emma,

I hope your week went well.  Claudia sent us a photo.  She said they drove you...or picked you up or something?  Google translate is always interesting.  Anyway, you look great...beautiful as ever!  We mailed Silvia's package.  I hope it doesn't get stuck in customs.  I will send you a pic of what we sent.  (I had to take a few Reeses PB Cups out because of weight but otherwise, it's all there. 

We babysat Rocky and Duncan overnight.  They left a few hours ago.  I am exhausted!  I must be really out of practice!  I didn't have hardly anything for them to play with so we played with an empty milk jug and toilet paper roll.  (As pitiful as it sounds, they actually liked it!)  I didn't have the energy to pull all the toys out of the garage.  Rocky is still a picky eater but Duncan is a bottomless pit.  That kid eats everything....and thus, a lot of pooping.  TMI!

Not much happened this week.  No big events, but Grandma Charlene and I had another breakthrough.  She took me out to lunch at a great new Asian Cafe (Zao) in the District.  It's set up like Costa Vida but it's Asian (curry rice bowls, Asian tacos, Bah Mi Sandwiches)  Anyways, she asked me what she could do to be a better mom.  Somehow, I felt like I could be completely honest with her. (I've always been too afraid to speak my true feelings because she takes it so hard and I have to end up consoling her...it was too much work)  BUT, I told her directly.  I told her that I need her to be emotionally self-sufficient and not lean on me or my siblings for psychological counseling.  I also told her a few other things that had been weighing on my mind.  I spoke with kindness, but directness.  I was so surprised when she just sat there and listened. She did not get offended.  She apologized!  She told me she appreciated my honesty and courage in telling her.  She said she understands because she deals with the same feelings with her mom.  She told me she is on some medication (which makes her shake a little but seems to be helping her be more rational with the world).  She is also doing more meditation.  She also has discovered a mentor in her step-mom, Wanda.  She said that she has never known how to be a mom to teenagers or grown children.  Wanda has been guiding her.  I couldn't believe how a weight was lifted off of my shoulders.  It was glorious!  As I drove away from that lunch, I realized that this breakthrough was another blessing of you serving a mission.  I thank you with all of my heart!

Mari is taking voice with Marilee Wilson.  She is such a great teacher!  Hyrum is going in for his first counseling session this week.  He will be going to LDS Family Services.  His medication seems to be working will.  Also, Hyrum did great at his church basketball game.  He even scored! Hyrum and Dad went with Keith and Jacob to a UVU basketball game.  Hyrum and Jacob got to do a foul-shot competition.  They tied with each other and both won the prize pack!  Hyrum is all decked out in UVU green.  The more I learn about UVU, the more I'm impressed!  It seems like a great school!  Have you decided where you might want to go when you get back?  Have you had any other thoughts about what you might want to study?  Also, who is this Matthew Langford?  I guess Dad is helping him try to get a job at Fidelity? 

Another friend from your mission, Brooke Bodhaine, messaged me.  She said, "Hello, I just wanted to tell you how much I LOVE your daughter after seeing those cute pictures.  She is such a light and I am so proud of her, I wish I was there to hear her Portuguese now.  I was her Sister Training Leader and I was able to go on splits with her. She has such an amazing attitude and she is such a hard worker.  I just wanted to share with y'all.  I miss my Sister Barlow!"   She told me she is going to school in Provo.  I invited her to come for a visit if she is ever in the area.  She said she would love to come. 

It sure is fun to meet people you have served...or met while there!  The world seems so small sometimes! 

Dad and I went to the Temple on Friday.  WOW!  You will LOVE the changes!  I can't wait for you to go!  When will you have the opportunity to attend the Temple next?  Also, if you ever hear your release date, please let us know so we can see if coming to pick you up is possible or not.  We found some cheap airfare to Sao Paulo....so we know it exists. 

Cousin Sami is here right now.  She says to tell you "hello".  Did you ever get Kade's birthday gift to him?  Cousins are the best!  Cousin Lauren is so excited about serving a mission.  I think she will just do a semester at school before her mission.  Luke Chandler has his mission papers and is working on them.  I think cousin Erik will be serving a mission soon too...but we haven't seen him or Ethan in a very long time.  It seems like they are always with their friends instead of family.  Grandma and Grandpa's kitchen if very beautiful.  Grandma was going to send you a picture when it was completely finished.  She's just decorating it right now.

Anyway, I hope you have a wonderful week.  Your name is in the temple and many people are praying for you.  We love you so much!

Sending a HUGE HUG...and a a shoulder rub!

I love my Emma!

💜Mom

Hey Emma!

 How are you doing?

Everything is normal here, but life is fun.

I played with some dogs, and an Ice King giant

brought an "Eternal winter" in one of my games.

Love you

Hyrum

M,

It is great to hear about your success in the field.  Try to stay humble and remember without a lot of things going right for you the work struggles.  Keep working on what you can control and everything will be great.  With that said . . . I did smile when you mentioned your atta boy.  Stay humble but soak in the praise when you can.  When you inevitability struggle it is nice to remember you are not the problem.  Sometimes it takes hard work.  Mari did not make callbacks for Matilda and we are all a little relieved.  She is excited about her voice lessons.  She was fine with not making callbacks.

This week has been all basketball for me.  They finally found someone to replace me but it will be a few weeks before he can take over.  The Stake Mens committee lost all of their members so I have been helping out on Thursday nights.  It has worked out fine because Mom has had Stake meeting every Thursday night.  We both put in a few hours at the Stake center and get home about the same time. We supported 3 games on Thursday night.   Friday night I took Mom and Eve to watch RHS basketball play Taylorsville at Taylorsville.  It was fun being in the high school and I bored Eve with all the memories I poured on her.  The Chandlers are rarely home during basketball season so I go watch high school basketball games and some ministering in.  We went and watched the JV and Varsity play.  Luke plays Varsity and Kyle plays JV.  They both won. I get a little lippy with the JV refs.  For the most part they are not good.  The refs for the Varsity game are normally great.  I have a thing I have been yelling all year and it has become a tradition of sorts.  When the ref makes a bad call I yell "You get one bad call a quarter ref.  That was it.  You don't get anymore"  I do it in my normal way and everyone including the players hear it.  If the make a bad call I remind them that they already hit their quota.  On Saturday morning we had all the Stake YM games, a total of 6.  They went well.  I ended up reffing 3 of them.  One of them was for Mindi Meadows Deacons and Luke and Kyle both came and were very loud in their support.  I was the only ref so I was missing a lot of calls when Luke screamed, "Ben, you only get one bad call a quarter.  That was it.  You don't get anymore".  I stopped the game and said "I will 'T' up (call a technical foul) and you and your whole family."  I think Luke was waiting for an opportunity to use that against me.  The little turd.  Saturday night Hyrum and I were invited to go watch a UVU basketball game.  Adam and Blakely work for UVU sports marketing and are heavily involved in all things sports at the school.  I have had a lot of basketball at this point but time with the Levers is time with the Levers.  We had to go very early to help Adam with Grayson so we had some time on our hands when we got there.  Hyrum and Jacob were asked to participate in a free throw contest during one of the commercial breaks.  They shot at opposite basketballs on the court and were given 30 seconds to make as many shots as they could.  Just earlier in the day Hyrum had a chance to win the Teachers basketball game with a few free throws.  He missed both so his confidence was not too high.  Hyrum is a fantastic rebounder and is a good shot within 5-7 feet of the basket.  The free throw line is 12 feet away.  He made one shot early but missed all the others.  that was OK because Jacob doesn't make a lot a free throw either.  He made a basket at the end and they tied.  They both were getting a prize either way for participating.  Hyrum got a really cool hat and Cob got a t shirt.  They both also got a t shirt that Adam designed for a Institute tailgate.  Overall the weekend consisted of 12 basketball games and I'm beat.  I think next week I will be able to hand off more of the stake duties so it should get a lot easier. 

We just had Rocky and Duncan overnight and found out we are out of young child parenting shape.  It took a toll on each of us but your Mom did most of the heavy lifting.  I got church duty.  I was able to get Duncan asleep and remember how hot babies are in a suit.  It was a lot of fun to have them over and attempt to create memories but it was a good reminder that the current family stage we are in is the best stage.  I sometimes think how fun you all were when you were little but I don't think I could go back. 

Proud of you kid.  Keep up the good work.  We need a firm date as to when you are done with the mission.  We are considering coming to get you but we need to know what date to plan around.  The Bishop shows a date in September.  We will use that date unless we hear different from you. 

Love

Dad

1 Peter 11:18-19