9/11/19 - The Joy We Find in Him - Coming Home

How do I put a year and a half of amazing learning experiences into one email? I guess I'll start with this week and then share a reflection or two.

I love teaching English. Seriously it's so fun. My English class here in Tucuruvi consists of about 30 people. That's by far my biggest class. This week as my last week teaching we had a giant family night/going away party. Everyone brought food, they guessed my first name and we shared a message on faith in Christ. If you know me, you know that I love stickers. In every package my family has sent they've always sent stickers. A while back they sent a bunch of star stickers. I had no clue what to do with so many stars so I started a participation competition in our Engish class. I prepared first and second place prize bags with a USA t-shirt, dollar bills, and a few other american things. We revealed the winners at this family night. It was so fun and a great opportunity to share gospel principles with some who otherwise may not have accepted a missionary visit. I have come to love these people so much!

We went on divisions with Pirituba and Sister Micene stayed in Tucuruvi with me. She's awesome and teaches with such power. We found a few little miracles that day

This whole area book project is nuts! It's taking us so long! We have to look at every record we have in our 2 giant area books, make a profile for each person, how they were found, information, and teaching record. We're getting through it, but good grief, I like indexing but this is like indexing 2.0. 

We had stake conference on Sunday and Ana Claudia's mom came. She believes that all churches have priesthood authority, but little by little she's gaining her own testimony. Ana Claudia threw me another going away party/family night yesterday and we taught her mom and brother the Plan of Salvation. I love these people.

Every week at our staff meeting President and Sister Ribeiro share a special message. This week Sister Ribeiro prepared a message especially for me. She shared these verses from Alma 29 and talked about how as missionaries we are angels in the lives of many people.

"1)O that I were an angel, and could have the wish of mine heart, that I might go forth and speak with the atrump of God, with a voice to shake the earth, and cry repentance unto every people!  2) Yea, I would declare unto every soul, as with the voice of thunder, repentance and the plan of redemption, that they should repent and acome unto our God, that there might not be more sorrow upon all the face of the earth."

She thanked me for being that angel in their lives, the lives of my investigators, and other missionaries. We do what we do to help these children of God get rid of their sorrows and be happy! My heart was so full. In my setting apart blessing I was told that I would be an angel for the people of Brazil. It's a tender mercy to see everything coming full circle now. After her message Sister Ribeiro said she had a surprise for Elder Severo and I. Elder Severo has been our executive secretary for a full year now and will be leaving the mission office this week. Sister Ribeiro invited the staff to have lunch at their house in honor of us leaving. She made us the best feijoada I have ever had with acaí for dessert. It was basically the best last staff meeting I could ever imagine.

Today Presidente gave me permission to visit my recent converts in Aldeia. I organized everything with Claudia and Estevam to surprise Luana. Ever since I left Aldeia she has been sending me messages telling me she wanted to see me one more time before I go home. When I showed up at her door she was SO surprised. She cried, I cried, we all cried. haha! It was a very sweet reunion. We had breakfast with them then we visited Dori and Sheila and then had lunch with Cristane and Bea. Julia was just a few months old when they were baptized and now she has teeth and is walking! Aparecido was working, but left me a really sweet note. President Ribeiro told me in an interview once that I've left a legacy here in the mission. I think now I understand what he meant.

I'm heading to go on splits in Alphaville tonight and then on Thursday I'll go to the temple to pass through the church's crash course version of auto sufficiency. It's kind of like tradition to "deliver your mission to God" while at the temple during your last week. I have felt like my mission has been accepted by the Lord and that He is pleased with my efforts. In no way am I perfect, but I gave Him everything I had and I have felt so much joy for it.  

I think a central point of my mission has always been the Refiner’s Fire. Before I opened my call my dad called me into a separate room with my mom and presented me with a hunk of bar steel. I was pretty confused at first, but he went on to explain that before the mission we are all like this piece of bar steel. We have a lot of potential, but in our current state we don’t serve for much more than a paper weight. During the mission we are put under pressure. We are put into the refiner’s fire to be molded and shaped into something useful. We can resist this pressure and as a result we have to be put into the fire again and again and as this process goes on the metal becomes weaker. But, if we accept the heat, the pressure, and the molding, we can come out of that trial better, more useful, and more beautiful than ever. My mission was in no way easy. In fact it was the bravest, hardest, craziest thing I have ever done. I was put into that fire a few times, but as a result I hope that I have become a useful instrument in the Lord’s hands. Something that He can continue to use in many different ways once I come home.

Another principle I have learned and will take with me forever in the purifying and the capacitating power of Christ. The purifying power of Christ is there to help bad people become good through faith and repentance. I have seen people sad, broken, lost and hopeless because of their sins and mistakes. Some of them thought that it was too late to change, that there was no way back. I have seen these people take small steps to learn about and apply the Atonement in their lives. My patriarchal blessing says that I will see the change the gospel makes in people’s faces and in their lives during my mission. I have seen that change. I have seen the light come into their eyes, I have seen them smile and rejoice in the mercy of our God. Rejoice in the change that comes through repentance made possible by the Atonement. His capacitating power is there to help good people become excellent through faith, repentance, consecration, and sacrifice. I have applied His capacitating power and as a result my faith and grown immensely. For my first 5 months I didn’t baptize a single person. I was learning Portuguese and the mission was 100% different than what I had expected. Many times I felt incapable, unintelligent, and insufficient. I received a priesthood blessing that was a turning point for me. In this blessing I was told to stop doubting myself, stop doubting my abilities and to never doubt my Savior. That hit deep and I applied that counsel. I stopped doubting myself and started trusting more in my Savior. That very week we were blessed with the baptisms of a family we had been working with for months. When I was called as TLT I also felt incapable. I had a hard time understanding why Pai Celestial had chosen me to take care of all 62 sisters in the mission. Sisters from more than 8 different countries all with different backgrounds, stories, and specific needs. It was in that moment that President Ribeiro reminded me one more time that I need to trust in the capacitating power of Christ. As I have applied that power I have felt unstoppable. There is nothing I can’t do with Him. It is in Him that we find all our strength and all our success. 

IF YOU ARE ASKING YOURSELF IF YOU SHOULD GO ON A MISSION OR NOT I WANT YOU TO READ THIS OUTLOUD: Just. Go. He will capacitate you. Trust in that capacitating power enough to put your papers in trusting that your call and your mission will be EXACTLY what you need it to be. Specially designed, tailor made, foreordained, JUST FOR YOU! Because that’s how it was for me. I know that everything I experienced was designed specifically  for me. All the people I met, the trials, the smiles. It was what I needed. He knows what YOU need, so JUST GO! It’s like our prophet has said, THERE IS NOTHING MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE GATHERING OF ISRAEL RIGHT NOW. NOTHING. So answer the call. There is nothing you can’t do if you do it with Him. 

When I had 9 months on the mission President Ribeiro challenged all of us to study the subtitles of Christ found in the guide to studying the scriptures. He said that we should not allow ourselves to leave the mission without coming to know our Savior, Jesus Christ. These last 9 months I have studied these subtitles. I have learned more about His life, His example, His teaching methods. I have come to know Him. But that doesn’t end there. I know I will continue to get to know Him through continued study after the mission using the study habits I have developed here on the mission.

My mom challenged me to make a list of things I've learned that I didn't know before and I’ve been sitting at this computer for a few minutes trying to think of what I could put on this list and everything that comes to mind has to do with Christ and His example.

• He is the best example of compassion and charity. When we are patient and loving with others they feel  Christ’s love through us. They have to know that you love them before they’ll listen to you. That pure, selfless love has the power to change lives.
• Free agency is one of the best gifts God has given us. Sometimes the choices of others make us sad, but that is apart of their mortal journey. We are here to love, serve and share. That is our responsibility.
• These are the LAST of the last days. There is an urgency in this work! We need to get a move on folks.
• If you can’t control it then don’t worry about it.
•  Happiness is a choice.
• A good attitude makes all the difference.
• Fasting works.
• You gotta be humble if you want to progress.
• “Sacrifice brings forth the blessings of heaven.”
• Repentance is for everyone. Period. 
• “Even on the bad days we can find joy in Him.” -President Nelson

To finish up, I'd like to share a few thoughts on joy since that is the greatest emotion that I have been feeling in these last few days. haha!

I started studying Alma 29 more thinking about what Sister Ribeiro said. I found a few other verses that explain very well how I am feeling at the end of my 18 months.

"14) I know that which the Lord hath commanded me, and I glory in it. I do anot bglory of myself, but I glory in that which the Lord hath commanded me; yea, and this is my glory, that perhaps I may be an instrument in the hands of God to bring some soul to repentance; and this is my joy."

The greatest joy that I have ever felt has been here on the mission. Being an instrument in His hands to assist in “His work and His glory, (eternal life for everyone)” has been life changing. With every child of God that makes the crucial choice to follow the Savior through baptism my heart is filled with joy. Through this ordinance they show their Father in Heaven that they are willing to keep His commandments, remember the Savior and be a testimony in all things. With that they receive forgiveness for all sins and the gift of the Holy Ghost which the prophets have said is the greatest gift we can receive in mortality. They eligible to enter into the Celestial Kingdom. What makes that joy even fuller is when they take that step as a family. Families CAN be together forever and I feel so much joy knowing that these families are preparing for their temple sealing. What could be better?

My joy goes beyond just my recent converts but I also feel joy knowing that the sisters I serve as TLT are also feeling this joy because of their success.

"But I do not joy in my own success alone, but my joy is more full because of the success of my brethren, who have been up to the land of Nephi. Behold, they have labored exceedingly, and have brought forth much fruit; and how great shall be their reward! Now, when I think of the success of these my brethren my soul is carried away, even to the separation of it from the body, as it were, so great is my joy.”

I have so much to be grateful for. So much joy all around!

Serving a mission was always a dream for me. I have so much joy knowing that I can now say that the mission is one more dream come true thanks to my Savior. It’s like the famous scripture in 2 Timothy says,  I have fought a good afight, I have bfinished my course, I have kept the faith”.

It is a very bittersweet thing as I close one chapter of my life and open another. São Paulo will forever have a piece of my heart. I’m grateful to you all for accompanying this adventure through my emails and for your encouraging and uplifting responses. There is no doubt in my mind that this is the true, restored church of our Lord, Jesus Christ. I know he lives and I love him with all my heart.

“17) And now may God grant unto these, my brethren, that they may sit down in the kingdom of God; yea, and also all those who are the fruit of their labors that they may go no more out, but that they may praise him forever. And may God grant that it may be done according to my words, even as I have spoken. Amen.”

Until Tuesday,

Sister Barlow Brazil, São Paulo North

1) Ana Cláudia and Ítalo are some of my best students and they won 1st anf 2nd place. They were always in high competition with each other.

2) It was crazy hot this week so one night we got home and my companion was like "let's have a hose fight" so we got into a giant hose fight with the sisters who live with us. Everyone screaming and laughing, soaking wet in our skirts and tags. 

3) My English class.

4) Sister Ribeiro’s Feijoada.

5) Special going away lunch with the staff that I love. Seriously, all these Elders have been like brothers to me.

6) I have written in my journal every single day while on the mission. This picture is of the 8 books I have filled with these wonderful experiences.

7)Teary-eyed Luana after our sweet reunion today.