7/2/18 - What I Wish Before I Went On a Mission

M,

Here is the letter I have been sending out to new missionaries. We will include a hard copy in your next package.

Sister Barlow,

I’m very excited for you to have the opportunity to serve a mission.  This is a once in a lifetime blessing to your life. After reflecting on my time as a missionary in Canada I have found there are many things I wish I knew before I left.  I’m sure somewhere somebody shared some of these with me and it didn’t sink in. Others, there is no way I would know until I experienced them. I share these with you hoping that I can be among the voices that you can add to your fan club and provide some insights that I hope will help.

Refiners Fire

You are about to experience the Refiner’s Fire more than you ever have.  The Refiner’s Fire is used by blacksmiths as they heat steel in an attempt to work the metal to a shape that will be of some use.  Imagine a brick of steel. As a brick it has little value but under immense heat and pressure that steel can become far greater in it’s value.  The blacksmith will place the steel in a furnace and once it is at a high temperature they apply pressure, normally in the form of a hammer. They pound the metal until it takes a desired shape.  Once they have the shape they want they quench the metal in oil. It is at that point the metal makes a chemical transformation and becomes hard and useful. If the metal does not become as hard as desired the process is repeated until the metal becomes hard.  Each time the process is repeated the metal becomes weaker and the potential hardness and usefulness is in jeopardy. Your mission experience is a refiners fire on your heart. You will be put under immense heat and pressure as you are molded into what your Father requires you to be.  This goes a lot easier if you allow the molding to take place. Don’t resist. Learn from your challenges and become better. A mission is suppose to be hard and full of challenges. Don’t get discouraged. It is all part of the process. Embrace every hardship as a way to grow. You cannot grow and change without being uncomfortable.  There is no growth in your comfort zone and the growth zone is not comfortable.

Culture Shock

You will have culture shock.  It does not matter if you are serving in Boise, Idaho or in Taiwan.  You have lived in a bubble in your Ward home. Culture shock is expected.  Homesickness and culture shock go hand in hand. You will have culture shock and you will be homesick.  It is ok to be homesick. It is not ok to dwell on this.  There is a lot of work to do.  When you get home sick or struggle with the culture it is time to get to work.  There is always work to do. You can work your way out of almost every mental hardship you experience.  There is a lot of joy and spiritual benefit of losing yourself in the service of others and spreading the gospel.  The more you focus on this the less homesickness you feel and more you can embrace the culture.

Companionship Synergy

You must get along with your companion.  This is not optional. You can’t do the work unless the two of you are working together.  If you are struggling with your companion the people you teach will know. Your companions will come from many different cultures.  They will be at different levels of gospel understanding. Some will come from a one parent family. Some will come from a poor and humble background while others might be very affluent.  Some will have a deep personal connection to the gospel while others are still borrowing their testimony from their parents. Your are required to love them all regardless of who they are and what they bring to the companionship.  Pride has no place in your companionship. If you are struggling to love your companion you need to change, not your companion. Your heart must find some way to love. You will be wasting time if you can’t figure this out. You only have so much time to wear the name tag.  Do not waste time by not loving someone you are required to love.

“What have I gotten myself into” moment

It happens to all of us.  At some point you will sit down and everything you are trying to accomplish will come crashing down on you.  You will have a “what have I gotten myself into” moment. It will come as part of the culture shock as you adjust into missionary life.  For some, this moment is crippling. You must remember that you have been trained and prepared for this moment. Many others have served in your exact mission who have been less prepared than you and have survived.  You must focus and power through this moment. It will pass. This is a normal part of the process. I was not aware of this “moment” and I was not prepared when it happened. It took me a long time to overcome. I thought I was alone in this experience.  I was wondering what was wrong with me. I had been trained, I felt ready, I left the MTC feeling good but that momentum did not transfer into the field for me. When you have this experience please remember that you are not alone. This happens to everyone.

Who do you represent

Never forget who you represent.  You get to wear the name of Christ on your person for several months.  How you represent this name is very important. Once you get comfortable as a missionary and with your companion it can be very easy to become very casual about your day.  It is easy to forget what you are doing and start acting like a teenager, which you still are. This will not happen within the first few months but after your missionary life stops feeling new.  Do not lose focus. You have a limited time to have an intense spiritual focus on your own personal development and your chance to serve those around you. You will never get a chance like this again.  There is no time to be casual about anything. You must take your personal study to another level. Your prayers should change. Your understanding of gospel principles like Faith, Charity, Repentance and Prayer should deepen.  You should improve and increase in every spiritual aspect. This will not happen if you lose focus.

Your heart belongs to the Lord

You have a limited amount of time to completely dedicated and consecrate yourself to the Lord.  There is not enough room in your heart for the Lord and someone else. The Lord requires all of it.  Homesickness, girlfriends/boyfriends, even parents need to be set aside so you can make room for the Lord.  You must do whatever it takes to make this happen. If you leave a boyfriend/girlfriend you must be very careful how or if you write them.  You may need to curtail how often you write them. Their name should not make it into your mission journal. If you struggle in this area do not keep doing the same thing and expect things to change.  If you find yourself thinking of home often you might consider intensifying your study, increasing your effort during the day, and find someway to forget about yourself and work. Research what it means to consecrate yourself.  How do you make yourself and your sacrifice more holy? You have a limited amount of time as a missionary. Please consecrate yourself and get to work. If you struggle to do so you might be thinking of yourself too much. Lose yourself in the service of your call.  As your love for the people increases your thoughts of home will dissipate and you will find yourself closer to being the missionary the Lord needs you to be.

I hope this helps.  You will do great. There is no doubt.

Love ya kid

Dad